From the recording Pet Loss & Love That Remains
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
I used to know the cupboard,
second shelf--your bowl.
Today I had to think twice,
stood there like a ghost.
The word that meant “come closer”
hid somewhere on my tongue,
and the whistle I would shape
wouldn’t form, it came out wrong.
[Pre-Chorus]
My brain sands down the edges,
but I don’t want it smooth.
[Chorus]
I hate that I forget--
the small, exacting map.
The rhythm of your footsteps,
the place you liked to nap.
I hate that days repaint it,
like rain on sidewalk chalk.
I’m angry at my memory
for letting go of our walk.
I hate that I forget.
[Verse 2]
Your route around the sofa,
the pause before the door,
the pocket where I kept treats--
I don’t reach there anymore.
I passed your favorite window
and didn’t even see
the square of light that always
made you curl against my knee.
[Pre-Chorus]
They say it’s how we’re made,
but I don’t want that truth.
[Chorus]
I hate that I forget--
the key words, soft and low.
Your “good boy” blink for yes,
the tilt that meant “let’s go.”
I hate the way it fades now,
like ink that turns to gray.
If love could hold the outlines,
why can’t mine make them stay?
[Bridge]
Maybe this is mercy,
how the body tries to mend--
but I would keep the ache
before I’d lose the ends.
[Chorus]
I hate that I forget--
but naming it is mine.
I’ll say your name out loud
until the edges find a line.
I’ll walk the block we loved
and practice where you’d sit
not healed, not clean, just stubborn.
I hate that I forget.